Small shows vs Big shows: P’s and C’s
Only one day to go before the first downsized Comedy Sale show in Australia. Tomorrow I’ll be in the Bull and Bear looking over at hopefully about 50 or so people, people I’ve sold tickets to this week, and I couldn’t be more excited.
Doing a big show is super super fun. It is also super super stressful. There is the opportunity to do the spectacular, yes, however, spectacularity (I’m using it, so don’t complain) takes ...read more
22 Foods That Are Difficult To Eat With A Beard
Beards seem to be everywhere nowadays, particularly on the chin. The first questions you get asked, as a beard owner, is “Does food get stuck in it?”. The answer is, obviously, yes.
See? It really does get stuck.
A Change of Direction
Some wise old bird said “If you want to make God laugh, first tell him your plans”. But what the fuck does that mean? God must also laugh at the obnoxious tripping on banana skins, pianos being pushed up stairs and fat men in small trousers. No? And does he laugh at all plans? Because Procter and Gamble’s Q2 Below The Line Marketing Strategy for Central Europe is probably pretty dull.
I think the idea is ...read more
VIDEO: I try to visit all the wineries in the Yarra Valley in 1 day
Wine is delicious. And what do I like doing with delicious things? Putting them in my goddamn mouth. Because in my mouth there is my tongue (call me, ladeez). If it weren’t attached to my body the tongue would look like some sort of extremely rare, cave dwelling amphibian. The type ecologists use as a reason to stall major infrastructure projects. The locals doubly resent it because not only do they not get jobs but ...read more
Melbourne. Extra Show Added. Friday May 11th.
No blog posts for weeks then three in one day? Yes. Well done. You can count. It turns out that someone – who could that be? – got a bit of a bollocking about not updating their blog – which blog would that be? – and now I – yes, it was me and this blog the WHOLE time! – have gone blog post mental.
But this one has exciting news. I would like to announce ...read more
The Sydney Opera House: Update
If there’s one thing we all know, it’s that I want to play the Concert Hall of the Sydney Opera House. What you don’t know, but will soon learn, is why I just spent ten minutes googling stills from the movie Scarface, and trying to find pictures of toes.
Why would anyone do that?
On with the Sydney update. So, as it stands the Sydney Opera House have told me I can’t play the Concert Hall. This ...read more
Thanks! Soz about Chat Roulette
Hey, everyone who came to Comedy Sale in Melbourne, thanks so much for coming! It was a true deeeeelite to play for you. You might have been able to tell that I was having a fantastic time.
Let’s quickly replay the highlights:
1. Michael de Bruyn saying “Trade union boss”.
2. Berni Moore’s thinly veiled slightly passive aggressive FB updates.
3. Paul’s porno play.
4. My face dripping with cream.
5. Not the ‘Chat Roulette’.
Yep, super sorry about the Chat Roulette ...read more
VIDEO Update (for your face eyes and head ears)
This is a video update of some of what happened last week.
It is pretty interesting.
Can’t Talk. Busy in Tellyland.
The one thing that this blog is agreed upon is that I am a srsly big deal and this blog should be ever so slightly thankful that it can even book me. Need proof, doubting Mustapha?
Reasons I am a big deal:
1) Have own blog.
2) Have own MacBook that is only 3 and a half years old.
3) Have own brogues (minus laces (not for fashion reasons but because the laces broke and I am taking ages ...read more
Thanks Adelaide. Thanks for the Fruchocs.
Adelaide, I thank you. I thank you on this blog, a wounded afterthought of trying to keep the wheels on the train (I wrote that sentence quickly and have decided to preserve the three unintentionally mixed metaphors).
Here’s what I want to do:
Write hilarious blog posts.
Upload wicked vlogs
Tweet constantly
Exercise more
Eat veg
Be better
Not all of these things are happening. But my desire to do so continues unabated.
My other desire is to say: THANKS VERY MUCH ADELAIDE. Y
ou ...read more