Guys, girls, team. As part of a forward thinking sales organisation, we must all learn to take stock and evaluate the week’s events. To seek learnings in our business practices, that allow us to fine tune our sales processes through proactive rapid iteration. To that end I will be doing a weekly sales review, and this is the review of week 1.
Needless to say (then why say it, mister?), the launch of ComedySale.Com is freaking mind blowing to me. It’s a silly idea that has now started. Ten books of tickets are staring at me, and I need to sell them all. This is on top of an Edinburgh show I have to write. An Edinburgh show that is about my tendency to start big projects that overwhelm me. Oh, crap.
This week the sales count is 9. The first tickets (it really has started now) were bought by Rob Manuel and his wife Lucy. This was super exciting as Rob runs a website called b3ta, that is populated by b3tards who make silly videos like this or this and this. The site is very distracting.
My palm’s were all nervous about meeting this internet legend (he used to be the number search result for ‘wanking’) and, bearing in mind that the show is about my tendency to waste time on the internet, selling a ticket to him was a pleasingly appropriate. It’s as though Precious was doing a comedy show where she had to sell all the tickets herself, and sold the first one to the owner of Krispy Kreme Donuts. Rob and Lucy were both delightful and just before I left their house little Angus, the son, did a massive poo.
Ticket number 3 went to Duncan (@El_Nacnud). A lovely chap who cycled to where I was in Clapham North, and that is heavily encouraged people. (Coming to me to buy a ticket, that is, not cycling) (admittedly, cycling’s also encouraged. KEEP FIT! LET’S MOVE!). Selling him a ticket on the street made me feel all cool, like some sort of cultural drug dealer: “Want ballet? Dance? Opera? This shit is pure. Wagner, yeah. It’s so good you’ll die.”.
Saturday was a day off because of wedding (not mine!!!!) and I decided against bringing tickets with me. For my money that would be a trifle déclassé, like hawking life insurance at a funeral. In good news, ladeez, I caught the freaking bouquet. Catch me while you can.
This leads right up to today, Sunday, Rise of The Idiots comedy at The Exhibit (Great night. You should go. Support live comedy!) and the sale of tickets 4 through 9 (as our Yankee cousins say). Four to Rik Moore (@marqueasy) (two of which are for a woman called Jasmine (@jasminericardo) and two to Duncan (@roti_comedy) and Laura.
“But hey!”, you breathlessly ejaculate, “How comes Rik’s buying 4? You won’t have met everyone! No fair. You suck!”. This is a rule that I haven’t yet put on the site. If you meet me you can buy up to 4 tickets (or should that be 5?). That allows someone to get tickets for their friend/life partner/date without putting both parties out. Remember, there’s a balance between being fun, and being totally inconvenient.
Well, that’s the first Sale Review. AOB? Questions? Great. Well done good job, Team. The first week of ComedySale.Com has been a blast. Keep up the G.W.. Onwards! Thunder! And all that jazz.