Good bye Australia, Hello London.

The great Australian adventure is over. Arriving in Sydney seven months ago how could I possibly foresee that on September 25th ComedySale.Com would be playing in the Sydney Opera House? Quite easily, now you ask. That was the plan from the get go. The entire point of the trip was to play the House (it’s what you call it when you’re in the know). Keep up.

Kate Tognolini was in crowd, she saw the show in Edinburgh, then at the Union Chapel in London and finally in the frickin’ House itself (it’s what you call it if you’re in the know and very excited). The first time she was subjected to my too tight trousers (TTTs) was in the shittiest venue on the Fringe, in their shittiest room, but it ended up in the greatest venue in the world and their shittiest room.

Sadly, they did not let me play the Concert Hall. No matter how many times I told them that I could sell 2000 tickets (just give me enough time Goddamnit! I just need more time!) they just would not listen. Nevertheless, the Studio is a lovely room (thought poky) and the show was super.

But that is in the past, as is everything except the future and now, also various metaphysical concepts love, beauty, cheese, and the rest. Then again, those ideas dependent on cultural norms anyway, Mr. Platonic ideal man, and love to you and me will mean something very different to the robot-kittens that will rule the world in 200 years time AND how do I know the green I see is the one you see, man? So, having not conquered Australia, I am back home and can say, with 100% certainty, that with a lot of hard work, guts and determination I believe I can not conquer Britain.

The first step on that road to non-domination, is a new weekly show at The Star of King’s in King’s Cross (for comedy nostalgics out there, it’s where the Lion’s Den – ‘The gig that launched 1000 non-careers” – used to be. ). The first show is on 31st October, then there’ll be two in November 7th, 14th and three in December.

If you want to come, here is the FB event. I’m selling all the tickets by hand, obviously.

Get involved, bitches.