Abu Dhabi Delerium

I am in Abu Dhabi airport and I am going mad. Did not realise that I had a freaking 12 hour stop over. Not any old 12 hour stop

In happier times.*

over, either. No, this one is through the dead of night.

Empty corridors, shiny floors, expensive leather goods, and Hari, the Nepalese guy who wants me to buy Gucci sunglasses or a Dunhill tie.

Hari was the highlight of the past 5 hours. “Dunhill tie, only $90”.

Srsly, feels like a Middle East Lost In Translation. WHERE’S MY SCARLETT JOHANSON? (Ha! Where’s my Scarlett Johanson is the most entitled thought a person can have).

Even the Burger King is shut. My lord, why hast thou forsaken me? I can’t find temporary relief in transfats? Is that where this is? This torture. Oh, great, now I am fixating on it. Melted cheese-like substance. Greasy reconstituted cow labia. Sweet ersatz baps.

Something must be done. I’ll start a pro-democracy demo just to pass the time.

*I wouldn’t normally adorn a post with a promo-picture of myself (maybe I would) but my brain is mush and these pics are new (‘These pictures just came in off the wire boss!’ ‘Stop the presses’ WHIRLY NEWSPAPERS FILL THE SCREEN.) and fuck it.