One of the fun things about Comedy Sale is that at the end of the show I get naked and finger myselfI get to choose what happens next, like those Choose Your Own Advernture books. You remember? The ones that involved warlocks, and wizards and dice and dwarves and very few strong female characters.
I used to read them all the time when I was a childling because I liked the fact that you could win […]
Woah, how’s it going, guys? What news? I have been gone for some time because – guess what? – my sister has found the one man in the known universe with mental resources to cope with the daily horror of her repulsive, ugly-feature-rich face every morning for the rest of his life and she married him. Only JKing Vics, you are gorgeous, and Tim is lush too.
That meant I flew back to sunny old England […]
Only one day to go before the first downsized Comedy Sale show in Australia. Tomorrow I’ll be in the Bull and Bear looking over at hopefully about 50 or so people, people I’ve sold tickets to this week, and I couldn’t be more excited.
Doing a big show is super super fun. It is also super super stressful. There is the opportunity to do the spectacular, yes, however, spectacularity (I’m using it, so don’t complain) takes […]
Beards seem to be everywhere nowadays, particularly on the chin. The first questions you get asked, as a beard owner, is “Does food get stuck in it?”. The answer is, obviously, yes.
See? It really does get stuck.
Some wise old bird said “If you want to make God laugh, first tell him your plans”. But what the fuck does that mean? God must also laugh at the obnoxious tripping on banana skins, pianos being pushed up stairs and fat men in small trousers. No? And does he laugh at all plans? Because Procter and Gamble’s Q2 Below The Line Marketing Strategy for Central Europe is probably pretty dull.
I think the idea is […]
Wine is delicious. And what do I like doing with delicious things? Putting them in my goddamn mouth. Because in my mouth there is my tongue (call me, ladeez). If it weren’t attached to my body the tongue would look like some sort of extremely rare, cave dwelling amphibian. The type ecologists use as a reason to stall major infrastructure projects. The locals doubly resent it because not only do they not get jobs but […]
No blog posts for weeks then three in one day? Yes. Well done. You can count. It turns out that someone – who could that be? – got a bit of a bollocking about not updating their blog – which blog would that be? – and now I – yes, it was me and this blog the WHOLE time! – have gone blog post mental.
But this one has exciting news. I would like to announce […]
If there’s one thing we all know, it’s that I want to play the Concert Hall of the Sydney Opera House. What you don’t know, but will soon learn, is why I just spent ten minutes googling stills from the movie Scarface, and trying to find pictures of toes.
Why would anyone do that?
On with the Sydney update. So, as it stands the Sydney Opera House have told me I can’t play the Concert Hall. This […]
Hey, everyone who came to Comedy Sale in Melbourne, thanks so much for coming! It was a true deeeeelite to play for you. You might have been able to tell that I was having a fantastic time.
Let’s quickly replay the highlights:
1. Michael de Bruyn saying “Trade union boss”.
2. Berni Moore’s thinly veiled slightly passive aggressive FB updates.
3. Paul’s porno play.
4. My face dripping with cream.
5. Not the ‘Chat Roulette’.
Yep, super sorry about the Chat Roulette […]